To Cape Town: QM2 Jan 2024

The Other Professor Sanders had decided not to join me on this voyage – she is keen to visit new places but with only three ports (one of which was Tenerife) and fifteen sea days she decided that she’d prefer to fly to Cape Town, meet me there and  spend a few days exploring.  Given we had loads of air miles courtesy of American Express, that was the plan.

Paul Stickler was also due to depart the same day on Queen Victoria, so once more I was able to get a ferry across and stay at his house in Romsey for a couple of nights.  TOPS dropped me off at Cherbourg and the adventure began: I have to admit feeling slightly ambivalent about this voyage – normally I’m with either Paul or TOPS or both – only six talks to deliver rather than the one per sea day required by P&O, so how was I going to fill my time on my own?  By writing my book about mental illness, TOPS suggested firmly.

Paul and his wife Jo dropped me off at the cruise terminal and I was swiftly passed through priority boarding.  The nice lady at Reception pointed out the long queue to get through security and suggested I go round to crew boarding – straight through and in my stateroom within 15 minutes of arriving at the terminal: a record.  Happily a letter was waiting telling me to go for technical checks with the other speakers at 1700 hrs.

A variety of speakers: an astrophysicist, a zoologist, an oceanographer (whom I’d met years ago on a Fred Olsen ship), a literature specialist, and an African destination speaker.  Maybe it was me, but there wasn’t much interaction between the speakers, but the technical support appeared excellent, not even blinking when my Macbook wouldn’t talk to the projector, just producing the right connector out of a big box while smiling sympathetically.  And to my surprise, I’ve got free internet for the whole voyage – never happened before.  Lots of fireworks as the two ships left.

Queen Victoria away…

My first talk was scheduled for the third sea day, so I had plenty of time to reacquaint myself with the ship’s layout, and, joy of joys, I’d been allocated freedom dining in Britannia Deck 3.

So I was a bit surprised to be directed to a table on deck 2 where six guests had already commenced their (first sitting) dinner, to be greeted by applause from the six who obviously thought I was just late.  Nice people certainly, but I’d prefer to dine alone and had a slightly spiky conversation with the maître d’ afterwards.  Sorted.  Most of the chaos was because it was a completely new set of staff in the dining room, but all was working smoothly within a couple of days.

At TOPS’s suggestion, I went along to the bridge classes on the first day but they were packed, and speakers mustn’t take places needed by guests.  Nothing else really appealed and anyway everything was pretty full – the art teacher would have been expecting maybe 40 guests but more than 150 signed up.  Maybe I will get that book written.  I’m certainly not going to dance classes, but I will sign up to be a tour escort if they accept my P&O tour escort certificate.

So to my first talk on visual illusions which is scheduled for 1315  hrs on the Sunday.  Mmm.  Would anyone come if it clashes with Sunday lunch?  As it turned out, about 250 did – the Assistant Entertainment Director introduced me and off we went.  John Maclean, the astrophysicist was there with his wife, and said he found it interesting so that’s a relief.  I was following the oceanographer, so only heard the last five minutes of his presentation but he was as enthusiastic as I remembered from a decade ago.

The day after I received a card from the art teacher – she wants to have a chat about what I was talking about in relation to teaching students, so that’s interesting.

I also advised guests I belonged to a religious sect based in Stoke that forbids conversation at breakfast.  It usually works but this time a chap stuck his head in front of me as I was about to start my full English to enquire whether ‘Professor’ was a stage name as I didn’t strike him as a professor.  I didn’t strike him. 

Off the ship at Tenerife – I’d forgotten what Tenerife was like so got back on after an hour.  Now the long trek to Namibia – eight sea days in a row.

Tenerife…

More people came to the second talk about the brain, so that’s good.  I invite the audience to think about mental illness after this one, which I suppose is an odd thing to ask people on their holidays to think about.

By now, the Commodore Club is my lounge of choice: the waiter addresses me by name and doesn’t need to scan my card, which is impressive and worrying at the same time.  A guest approached me there, and said she was interested in what I’d said about early experience and brain development, largely because her daughter was Under-Secretary of State for Public Health, Start for Life and Primary Care (must have a wide door to get all that on the sign).  Another guest with experience in the field joined us, and I finished up agreeing to do a literature search on attachment for a Conservative MP!  Her mother did reassure me that anything I produced would be passed on to the next government which made me feel a little better.

However, things are unravelling back home.  Just before I left, I discovered a major problem with the fosse – whoever converted it to meet new French regulations that required all waste water to be directed into it (as opposed to just connected to the toilets) before we bought the house had basically bodged it.  Further enquiries revealed this had happened to a lot of Brits, but the chap responsible had now died.  TOPS is having to deal with getting quotes from builders and ensuring they’re not more cowboys.  On top of that, one of the cats appears to have been poisoned, is very ill, and the vet has suggested his only chance is a blood transfusion – from our dog!  She’s having to nurse the cat, feed him by hand, and take him almost daily to the vet while sorting out the fosse.  Good job I have internet and we can communicate via WhatsApp.  (A few days later the cat had to be put to sleep, which was extremely sad – he was a real character.)  Very stressful for TOPS but nothing I can do to help.

The late Vespa – beautiful Maine Coon

Back on board, the talks are going well with more people turning up and thanking me, which is always nice.  Can’t resist keeping an eye on the others to see how many are going to their talks…  John Maclean and Peter Varley (the oceanographer) are putting across some serious science really well.  In the restaurant I now have a permanent table for one to which the maître d’ directs me with a sideways nod and a wink.

Crossing the Equator was celebrated with a ceremony on the poop deck where participants had to kiss a dead fish, be covered in glop and jump into a swimming pool.  I didn’t participate.  I should understand, being a psychologist, but I don’t know why people do that.

People enjoying themselves…

And at last Namibia for an overnight stop.  Day one I jump on the shuttle after clearing immigration at 0700 hrs – and it takes me to a shopping mall on the edge of the desert.  Back to the ship.  Turns out I have a Tour Escort job for day 2 – coach trip to an elephant park which involves sitting on a bus for four hours.  Fortunately we see lots of elephants and zebras.  And more elephants and zebras.  I didn’t know there were different strains of zebra. 

Busy waterhole – well, it was 44 centigrade…
Come on then, if you think you’re hard enough
Excited Geordie donkey?

Back to Cape Town on the ship, and I have an escort duty to Robben Island: lumpy ferry ride across resulting in one guest being spectacularly sick, but then we have a guide who was once a prisoner here.  Very moving and I do wonder why some people have to walk round taking ten photographs of everything they come across – this is a place to feel, to think about, to experience.  The Captain’s on the tour as a guest, and I’m able to tell him to get a move on and keep up.  He actually gave me a good lead about human factors in aviation safety which will be useful in a talk I’m preparing on why disasters happen.  It’s the way you tell them.

Mandela’s inside stateroom

Illuminations nearly full for the last talk which is a real tear jerker about eye-witness testimony.  As usual about 80% of the audience missed seeing a gorilla in a group of netball players after I’d briefed them to concentrate on the ball.  It’s an impressive demo.

On the last day before disembarkation I’m down to do an Insights Up Close: answering questions in a small group.  About 50 people turned up which was nice but a bit scary as well, but they were very nice and one thanked me for the talks on behalf of the group.  On the whole then a successful trip as far as the talks went, but I didn’t write my book.  Maybe next time.  But my thanks go to all the people who turned up to my talks. One thing I did achieve and am quite pleased about is that I learned to tie a bow tie properly – no more clip-ons.  Stickler will be jealous.

Pleased about tying a bow tie properly…

Off the ship and a short walk to a taxi rank – taxi straight away to the hotel, and sure enough there is TOPS waiting – love it when a plan works out.  The hotel’s a bit tired but handy for the waterfront which we explore.  First full day on a HOHO bus round the city, the second another HOHO round the peninsula to see all the local sights.

Baboon burglar in Simonstown

TOPS had booked a shark diving trip (just for her, natch) but it was cancelled last minute because of the weather.  So, showing great initiative, she looks up a travel company and books us a tour down to the Cape of Good Hope: really good guide picks us up at the hotel and treats seven of us to a really interesting trip lasting seven hours.

Lots of these…
TOPS at Cape Point
Might as well go home then…

The last day is spent killing time really – our flight leaves at 0030 hrs but at least the airmiles got us premium economy.  Then Paris to Lyon, and Lyon to Rennes, pick up the car and drive back one and a half hours.  Total travelling time exactly 24 hours.  Quite fatigued really.  Would I do it again?  Well, I’m booked on QM2 in July…

To the Mediterranean – October 2023

Slightly different start to this cruise – catching the ferry from St Malo rather than Caen to avoid either getting up at stupid o’clock or staying overnight in a hotel near the ferry terminal.  In fact the road to St Malo was much better than the one to Caen – much of it dualled and no wiggly bits, but the downside is a nine hour crossing.  Anyway, usual routine in Portsmouth – collected by Paul Stickler and off for a curry before staying overnight at his house before joining Aurora.  He does make the logistics so much easier, bless him.

Express boarding at Southampton, supervised by two jolly ladies who asked if we were the magician and his lovely assistant.  Inside cabin as per usual and a letter inviting me to meet the Deputy Entertainment Manager to check over ‘the spiels’ as she calls them.  Turns out that although both Paul and I have prepared six talks, she only wants five as the Headliners are performing a play on one of the sea days. We’ve worked with Karen before and I think she trusts us – last time I was on with her several Canadian ports were cancelled and I had to do three extra talks so I suppose it averages out.

I confess I was a bit stereotypical in my thinking but I imagined that on a Mediterranean cruise in October guests would be there to soak up some vitamin D before the winter but the theatre was pretty full for the first talk on illusions and it went well.  (I was put on stage by one of the entertainment hosts as the Ents Manager was in a meeting.  She asked me what to say, so I said “tell them I’m one of P&O’s best speakers” and she did, so there might have been a bit of priming…  Well, the Ents Manager did say that in March.)

Then I discovered that my friend the Cuban magician was also on board till Malaga so we met up.  He’s still catching up from having no work for two years, but it must be hard flying round the world all the time to pick up ships – it’s more of a hobby for me and a means to keep the little grey cells ticking over.  Manuel Martinez (or Gary as I know him) and I intend to do a joint talk on the psychology of magic at some stage – magicians probably know more than psychologists about illusions…

I tried out a new talk about conspiracy theories which is quite demanding on the audience, and didn’t think it went well, but Paul said he thought it was good and suggested some tweaks.  As it turned out, feedback was pretty good apart from the lady who complained that I hadn’t revealed who really did kill Diana.  In fact, overall feedback on this cruise was probably the best I’ve ever had with loads of people taking the trouble to thank me (and Paul).  A really interested and enthusiastic audience, so many thanks to them.

Paul and I didn’t bother being tour escorts on this trip – only two stops – and we simply got off for tapas and drink in Malaga and pizza and drink in Palermo. I was a bit surprised by the bit of Palermo we saw, pavements broken, several beggars – not what I’d expected but I guess the cruise ships do bring in some foreign currency.

As we were disembarking in Piraeus we found we were being joined for the flight back to Heathrow by the singer Tom Ball and his father-in-law.  Apparently he won Britain’s Got Talent in 2022 – not really my scene (I admit I didn’t go to his show) but what a pleasant, polite and respectful young man he is. 

Overnight at chez Stickler again before catching the ferry back to Caen.  Madame Stickler was unimpressed with Paul’s gift of the P&O chocolates we found in our cabins but off for a Chinese before rejoining Brittany Ferries next day – I’m on first name terms with the crew, but not the Maitre d’ in the restaurant who thought I was in charge of a party of 50 American pensioners and asked me to tell them how the buffet worked.  So I did, and they thought I was a translator working for Brittany Ferries.  What a hoot.

Next trip is Southampton to Cape Town on QM2 – 15 sea days but only six talks. Might get that book written at last…

Arrested in Narvik…August 2023

As The Other Professor Sanders wanted to come on this cruise too (criteria: more port days than sea days, new places to see, and definitely not the Caribbean which she says is boring) , we needed to sort out the dog and cats which normally costs hundreds of Euros, but this time TOPS advertised on the website Trusted Housesitters and got more than 90 expressions of interest from all over the world.  And so it came to pass on the evening before we left a Scottish couple, now resident in Australia, turned up to look after the house and animals.  Fingers crossed.

For the first time, we used the Cherbourg to Poole fast ferry, and what a mistake that was.  Absolutely no facilities at the port.  Getting the car on board took a while as the chap in front couldn’t reverse his very small car into a quite large space so one of the crew had to turn the wheel for him.  Worryingly, the crew lashed our car to the deck.  Then up to the passenger area – a bit like inside a wide-bodied jet but with the pervasive smell of chips and the dulcet sound of screaming toddlers.  Won’t do that again, and it was really expensive.

However, safely to Paul Stickler’s place in Romsey and off for a curry with him and Jo, his wife.  She’s not joining us on the cruise, and a friend of Paul’s kindly took the three us to Heathrow next morning – flight to Oslo, then on to Narvik.  Collected at the airport and taken to a reasonable hotel (together with an Australian tenor, a mind reader and a comedian) from where we were again collected next morning to go to the ship.  However, en route the driver announced that of the six of us, the other four were to go straight to the ship while the two professors were to be taken to the police station…and no-one knew why.  Bit worrying.

Turned out that the police didn’t know either, but after 45 minutes of confusion and calls to the port agent a senior officer arrived with a suitcase full of immigration stamps, and used one to confirm we’d left Norway by ship.  She helpfully added that if we waved our passports about, the ink would dry quicker.  Eventually we got on board Arcadia and found our inside cabin while Paul bragged about his porthole.

Couple more Norwegian ports before the first talk and TOPS went off to the North Cape on a tour.  I usually get a job as a tour escort but the lady on the Shore Excursions desk was a bit pessimistic about my getting any so I didn’t bother.  Stickler did and got three.

First presentation was the illusions talk, and the theatre was pretty full, so that’s OK.  Gio, the Entertainment Manager, was very welcoming as always, and got my name right – he once introduced me as Adam Sandler.  Subsequent talks were OK – I’d describe the audience as quietly appreciative and the numbers held up, and that’s P&O’s main measure of success I imagine.  Paul got a bit miserable as one of his talks was cancelled because of the women’s football, but was looking forward to Liverpool as the highlight of his cruise (sic).

Strangest question of the cruise; “Do the French really use a lot of suppositories?”  Usual observation: “Loved your talk on the Krays”.  To me, that is, not Paul. Interesting psychologically how people confuse a hairy psychologist with a bald policeman.

Iceland was very special – we booked a tour on the internet really quite cheaply, but I guess you get what you pay for as the guide received a phone call halfway into a six hour tour to say he’d left someone behind at the first stop.  So we had to go back and start again.  Fabulous place to visit though – the active hot springs were spectacular and the weather perfect.

On to Liverpool – TOPS went to the Tate and an artist’s materials shop as she’s taking up oils, and Paul went to the Cavern Club as it’s apparently International Beatles Week.  Later he rang his wife to tell her he’d had the best day of his life and she responded by reminding him of their first wedding anniversary next week.  Hey ho.

No real issues on the way back, though the drive from Caen was a bit dark and miserable – no cats’ eyes in France.  However the good news was the house was still there, the dog was happy and the cats as ever indifferent.  Result.

Back on board in five weeks,  Aurora to the Med, again with Paul.  This time two ports and six sea days – we’ll do our double act and I might try and do a new talk on conspiracy theories.  But it’s nice to be home for a while.  Being spoken to in English for fifteen days took some getting used to.

First time on Cunard – June 2023

First Cunard gig – QM2 to New York!

I’ve been trying to get a booking on Cunard for nearly ten years without success, which is a bit odd as Cunard and P&O Ents share the same office, and I do about 4 per year on P&O.  Anyway back in January, I emailed the P&O booking manager and asked her to pass my details on to her counterpart at Cunard.  The next day I get an email from the QM2 booker giving me a choice of half a dozen transatlantic crossings!  Within two days, it’s all sorted out and I’m off on June 23.  We got married in NYC but haven’t been back since 2012, so Gail’s coming too.

In the interim I did a Caribbean and a Northern Lights trip, both on Aurora, which is my favourite P&O ship.  I also got a booking for a Celebrity cruise – Miami to New York – three flights to get there but at least I start at my local airport.  On the way there, I got an email telling me they’d fly me back to Paris, 4 hours away from home, arriving at dawn.  So I decided I wasn’t going to do it for the sake of a seven night cruise.  I guess my Celebrity career is over…

So, I carefully check the four or five presentations for Cunard, because I guess this is, in essence, an audition.  And guess what, one of the speakers in the MacBook blows.  No problem – see if there’s a YouTube video on how to replace it.  Yes, there is, and it looks very simple, so I send off for a repair kit and it arrives next day. Two of the back screws come out easily enough but the screwdriver strips the heads off the next two.  And I can’t get the first two back in again.  Oh dear.  And I don’t want to buy a new one in France because the keyboard’s different.  A week to go…

Gail’s very good at this sort of thing – she finds the best price in the UK and we order one to be delivered to Paul Stickler in Romsey (He’s the ex-CID chief with whom I work on about half the cruises).  This will work because he’s putting us up for the night before we board as well as organising somewhere to park the car.

We have a new house-sitter this time, so she takes over as we get the afternoon ferry to Portsmouth and get to Paul’s about 10.30 p.m.  We set up the new machine and it works, thank heavens.

Next day there are huge queues to board Queen Mary 2, but we are told to use priority boarding, even though we have no idea which is our cabin, sorry, stateroom.  Efficient lady tells us it’s number 32 (eh?), we go back out to label the bags, and we get on pretty quickly.  But nobody seems to know where cabin, sorry, stateroom, 32 is.  After about half an hour we find it, Deck 5, pointy end, behind a door marked ‘Private’.  And it won’t open.  My reaction attracts the attention of the occupants of the next stateroom, and Micky Zany introduces himself as the comedian.  I’d never have guessed.  Down to Reception where a young man puts the card keys through a machine and confirms all is now well.  It isn’t.  The door still won’t open.  Back to Reception and a lengthening queue.  Eventually another young man takes the cards from me, and takes me to a seat, advising me he’ll sort it out.  Took him another half hour, but he did, and he’s let ‘the wife in’.  At last.

Two letters waiting for me in the cab…stateroom, so that’s good, must be the right place.  One wants me to go to the theatre to check the kit at 1700 hrs, and the other to go to a studio to be interviewed for the daily TV programme.  At 1700 hrs.  Oh well, we got it all done in the end, and the interview was quite sensible.  I’m on at 1100 on the first day, straight after a talk entitled ‘My Fascination with Gemstones’.  Different crowd maybe?  Anyway by now Gail’s unpacked and the cabin’s not bad: it has a porthole – normally we get an inside.  Check through first talk, and then it’s time for a tincture.  Long day.

First talk is There’s more to seeing than meets the eye.  Little bit of neuroanatomy at the start but mainly engaging a first-time audience.  Probably the best introduction I’ve ever had from the Deputy Entertainment Director who is quite taken by my having done a bit of stand-up.  Illuminations theatre holds 493 and there are more people standing at the back than there are empty seats, so here goes…

Went quite well I think, in spite of a small screen over to the right with me in the middle of the stage.  Technician’s very good, and he likes my hair.

And the other three went well too – the second was at 1215 and the young entertainment host who introduced me said she’d never seen a full house at that time.  Same for number three, and the place was packed for the last talk.  Only downside was a somewhat monotone introduction from the male entertainment host who clearly thought he had better things to do.  It’s a powerful finish to the eye witness talk and quite a few people were in tears at the end.  Overall, I think I did OK – lots of people thanking me all over the ship, mainly Americans, which surprises me.

First sea day was also G’s birthday so we went to the Steakhouse at the Verandah for dinner – probably the best quality food I’ve had on ship since we were on QM2 years ago.  We didn’t dine in the Britannia at all, the buffet was fine, though I did use the Britannia for breakfast while Gail was yogaing (sic). 

Two medevacs – one almost as we left Southampton, and one for a crew member necessitating a diversion to Halifax, Nova Scotia.  We were thus very late into New York – parked at 1500 hrs.  Two nights in a hotel in Tribeca – NYC is soo expensive now, and then overnight to Heathrow, where Paul is waiting, bless him.  Rumour is, the crew member is OK.

Back home to France, and I’m surprised to get an email from the office – first working day after the crossing.  Apparently I got a very favourable report from the on-board team, lots went to the talks and said they enjoyed them.  So I’ve been invited to join the 2024 programme – I’ve to go through all the cruises/crossings and tell them which ones I’d like to do.  Must have passed the audition then.  Result.

Gone with the wind-Canada Sept 2022

This was the front half of Aurora R214 to Canada.  It didn’t start too well as when the ferry from Caen docked in Portsmouth it was announced there wasn’t enough water in the sea, so foot passengers would have to wait until all the wagons were off and then we could disembark via the garage.  It took about 45 minutes, so the taxi I’d booked left without me.  Once in Southampton, I discovered hotel prices had tripled because of the boat show and I was out of pocket before getting on Aurora!

Straight to a meeting with the efficient Deputy Entertainment Manager, who advised me that as the late Queen’s funeral was on the first sea day, there’d be no talks, so I took out Charles Manson.  The first talk went OK, as did the second.   This was the first time for years I was travelling alone – I’m usually with Gail and/or my friend and fellow speaker Paul Stickler – so I spent the first few days just reading in the cabin.  I decided to buy a WiFi package to call Gail and she told me we were headed for a hurricane, and it was serious.  Sure enough, after the third talk the DEM advised me the ship was to miss the first port in Newfoundland, and could I do an additional talk?  Manson’s back in, and the captain tries to avoid the hurricane. It was pretty rocky – a 15 metre swell – and lasted about 36 hours.  People were sliding in their chairs across Champions’ bar, and one of the restaurants lost a load of crockery.  The second port was cancelled as well as the ship headed for Québec for a two night stay, so eight sea days in a row.  The audiences grew for the talks and a lot of people took the trouble to say thank you, which is always nice.

On the fifth day, I was greeted at breakfast by Manuel Martinez, the Cuban magician, whom I’d met earlier in the year in the Caribbean, and he introduced me to Maurice Grumbleweed and Wayne who did tributes to John Denver and Neil Diamond.  We kind of teamed up after that, and I can now do some tricks… Québec was smaller than I thought with some splendid buildings and lots of small art galleries.  But lots of souvenir shops selling tat.  Manuel and I (he’s actually Gary from Canterbury – nice chap) found some nice bars and restaurants but it was very expensive.

On my last day aboard I was picked up on schedule and taken to the airport for the short flight to Montreal – it took longer to park the plane than the flight.  And then I slowly discovered that the ageing Air Canada Boeing 767 due to go to Heathrow was broken and they were waiting for the part.  Five hours sitting at the gate, wondering which part it was.  An engine?  Finally took off at one in the morning and the rather surly cabin crew (dragged from their beds, I imagine) served a meal at 3 a.m.  Screaming child behind me.  Needless to say I missed the ferry back to France but fortunately was rescued by Paul and his mate, who put me up in Romsey.  Finally got home after a 48 hour journey.

Overall then a testing time (that’s a pun, because everyone on board had to be tested twice for Covid-19  before we got to Canada – ‘a small number’ did test positive and were isolated, while masks were compulsory all the time I was on board) but the talks were well received and the passengers, sorry, guests were appreciative, and that’s what I was there for.  Gail had been a bit anxious as the news had said the hurricane was a once in a century event, but the ship handled it well – Aurora is the most stable vessel in the fleet.  You do feel sorry for the people affected though – horrendous damage along the coast.  Given all the hassle getting back, I may stick to Southampton-Southampton in future, but having said that Paul and I are booked to go to the Caribbean next month.  Someone has to do it.  And Gary fancies developing a joint talk about the psychology of magic.  Keeps the leetle grey cells ticking over

Back from the Baltic May 2022

Getting to Aurora was a bit of a trek – drive up to Caen for an overnight stay, early ferry to Southampton, check into Holiday Inn before going off to get lateral flow test, overnight stay, bit of shopping and finally drop off car and get on the ship.  48 hours just about.  The timetable for the presentations was waiting in the cabin, so I didn’t need to search for the Ents Office. Anyway, a quick explore and settle down – check out the first talk due tomorrow.  It’s always a slightly nervous time, wondering if anyone will turn up to psychology talks – usually the audience builds as the cruise progresses, but there are only 800 or so guests on board (about the capacity of the theatre!).

The first night was a bit rough – whoever’s next door (not Andy and his wife, the other side) decided to make a phone call at 4 a.m. that went on for an hour and a half and she was very loud.  Couldn’t recognise the language.  The following morning we asked the cabin steward who was next door, and he told us it was a member of the crew from the Philippines, and he’d tell her…which he obviously did as we didn’t hear from her again. 

Psychology of Comedy and Laughter first – not a bad turn out, maybe 200, and Giovanni, the Ents Manager, introduced me.  We were on Ventura together in March so he knows my stuff. Then the Captain announced we were going to miss the first two ports due to the bad weather, so I was asked to do two extra talks.  Not a problem, I always have spares, but I did gently ask Gio’s deputy what was in it for me, thinking we might just get a new cabin.  He said he’d talk to Gio.  I also made the mistake of moaning that speakers weren’t provided with bottled water in the cabins.  Next day I got a bottle of water.

I finished up doing nine presentations altogether, and they seemed to go down really well.  Gio told me I was getting bigger audiences than some of the shows, so that was pleasing.  Terrific applause after the final talk on eyewitness testimony – it’s a powerful conclusion to a talk but I’ve never had an ovation like that.  Gio bought us a bottle of fizz at dinner that night, so I reckon he was happy.  Job done

Never been to Stockholm, Visby, Copenhagen or Oslo before, so that was good.  The port stops in Lithuania and Poland were less attractive, not least because of the weather.I started to feel a bit rough on the last evening, and it got worse on the ferry back to Caen.  The drive back home – about 120k – took more than two hours as the road was closed between the A84 and Vire so we had a long detour.  When I got in I did a LFT and sure enough it showed up positive immediately – I’d avoided Covid till now, but I reckon we picked it up on the sight-seeing trips in Copenhagen, probably the boat which was crammed.  Gail tested positive next day.  So here we are, back from the Baltic and both quite poorly with it.  Hopefully it’ll go away soon, but it shows you can’t be complacent.  I think quite a few guests tested positive when they got home. 

So, overall?  First time on Aurora, and we really liked the ship – very stable compared to others.  The guests were good, laughed in the right places and many of them took the trouble to say thank you personally, which is always nice.  I’d certainly do it again.  Gail doesn’t come on many cruises with me, but she enjoyed this one, and especially Oslo’s Munch museum.  High point – final round of applause.  Low point – Covid.  Spookiest point?  Discovering that I went to the same school as the other speaker and our teachers overlapped.  All sorts of memories triggered about Mr Mountain’s baggy Scouts shorts on Fridays.  Hadn’t thought about him for 55 years.  I’m sure a psychologist  could explain it

The start of the last talk…and the end below