First and only P&O cruise this year – TOPS isn’t coming after the experience living under Aurora’s galley last year. Another bit of a complicated journey to join Arcadia in Reykjavik: drive to Vire, train to Paris Montparnasse, taxi to CDG, flight to Reykjavik, collected there and taken to hotel, overnight hotel, collected next morning and taxi to ship. So many ways that could fall apart, starting with the train from Vire as there’ve been strikes recently.
But it all goes to plan – P&O organise travel well. The flight was a bit tiresome: three and a half hours surrounded by very excited French teenagers who shouted at each other the whole time on their way to do some work with Icelandic kids I think. Interesting taxi driver who wonders why people want to go to psychology lectures on their holidays – he’s not alone – and a bit of a discloser about his various marriages and girl friends before he drops me off at a 4 star Hilton. Well this should be OK. Restaurant is full so I go to the bar and discover a bottle of Pinot Grigio is €85, so I settle for a club sandwich (horrid) and two small beers. €70.
Airless hot room so no sleep but up for breakfast and meet the other speaker – IT for older people – and his wife. We’re on time for the taxi but the driver is expecting five so we wait for half an hour until two musicians appear – they’d been given the wrong time. Happily, they were expecting us at the ship (occasionally I’m a complete surprise) and I eventually find my entertainer’s cabin (I still can’t get used to being classed as an ‘entertainer’) – a bit gloomy but OK apart from the fact two people would be a squeeze – good job TOPS didn’t come. No sign of anything from the Ents Office, so old lag that I am I go down there to be welcomed by the Ents Manager Leon whom I haven’t seen for years. He gives me some info and apologises as the speakers can’t use the theatre because there’s a new Headliners troupe being trained. We have to use the Globe – essentially the night club. Oh dear, I suspect this won’t end well. I’m guessing only about 150 people will be able to see the screen – and the first talk is visual illusions.
Several Icelandic ports before the first sea day, one of which is Isafjordur, the only one that I’m really interested in because it’s where the pedestrian crossing in my first talk is. I can’t find it which is odd in a tiny town (pop. 2600) so I ask the lady in the souvenir shop who tells me where it is and adds that I’ll be disappointed. And I was – it’s been partly rubbed away by traffic.
Það er lífið, as they say in Iceland. Weird alphabet but they’re all taught English at school. Just as well really. I’m not bothered about the other ports in Iceland and I don’t ask to be a tour escort, so I get on with the book.
First sea day, first talk, and yes, the Globe is rammed and lots of people can’t get in.
seal colony sun deck. Maybe TOPS could do a Planning and Control consultancy for them – she used to teach Business students. It’s probably a nightmare balancing everyone’s contracts though. Part of the problem with the Globe is that the seats form a semi-circle and the people at the ends can’t see the screen anyway. Nor can I as I’m standing behind it. Still the talk seemed to go well.
Not much sleep that night as something had come loose on the side of the ship and was banging every second or so. I finally went down to Reception at midnight but they said they were aware of the problem…it stopped about 0400 so someone must have had an interesting night fixing whatever it was.
Second talk was OK but still rammed. They brought in extra chairs but it didn’t make much difference – lots of people say they’ll complain but Leon says it’s out of his hands. Part of the problem is that they’re still doing ‘Port Talks’ in the theatre at 0930 which is winding up a few of the guests who can’t get into the talks.
I drop into the pub that night and hear an acoustic duo – ‘Lexandlou’ – which isn’t normally my cup of tea, but they are excellent. She’s got a brilliant voice and his guitar work is superb. At one point I was disappointed as I thought they were using a backing track, but no, she had a bass drum pedal and was thumping the stage with her right foot. For one song she was doing that while clapping alternate beats and singing at the same time. I had a chat with them – she sounded just south of the Tyne and sure enough she’s from Washington. Really nice relaxed couple. They should be in the theatre too.
On to Norway and rather gloomy weather but at least I got another certificate to prove I’d crossed the Arctic Circle. We’ll get another in November on QM2.
The special guest speaker for the last two sea days was some bloke from The One Show. He was in the theatre! One irate lady tackled me before my last talk to ask if I’d been offered the theatre and declined. When I replied that I hadn’t been offered the theatre, she just said “Right, it was half empty” and stormed off. No time to warn Leon… Turns out this situation crops up every time the cast changes – they can rehearse in Blighty but the ships all have different stages so I guess it’s an Elf and Safety issue. Unfortunate, but I gather Leon is speaking to unhappy guests one to one.
Paul Stickler was going to meet me at Southampton for a quick catch up before the ferry but he contacted me the day before to say he couldn’t make it. Pity – we haven’t done a double act this year. Anyway I got off the ship quicker than predicted but had to search for my bags for ages as I’d been on deck F which the stevedores said didn’t exist. Managed to get a taxi to the ferry in Portsmouth and the pleasant woman at check-in squeezed me on to an earlier crossing with five minutes to spare. A longer drive for TOPS to Cherbourg but at least we’ll be home by 2000 rather than midnight. Something serious seems to happen when I’m away – this time it seems our terrace has to be completely rebuilt rather than just grouted – twelve days work instead of three and a big bill. Oh well, Það er lífið.
thehairypsychologist 