It was always going to be a bit of a hike to Curaçao, but it turned out to be even more challenging than I thought. TOPS took me to the station at Vire just after Saturday lunch and the train was on time, as ever. First class ticket to Montparnasse was about €30 which can’t be bad. I got a taxi straight away and told the driver I wanted the prix fixé in spite of his suggestion that traffic was light and I could use the meter. Just as well because we had to circle CDG twice before he found the hotel entrance. Then I got an email from Air France telling me I hadn’t been able to check in because I had a seafarer’s ticket and I’d need to prove my status at the airport. So no sleep as I had to check in at 0400 hrs…. That was a bit stressful as, like at all airports these days, you do everything yourself including baggage tags, but I did eventually find a human being who told me where to queue to see the other human being.
Safely on to Amsterdam – a little tense as the queue to leave the Schengen area was huge but eventually I was told to join the EU passport queue as the automatic gates treated a GB passport the same as an EU one, which was a bit ironic. Then a ten hour flight to Curaçao, five hours behind Normandie. Taxi driver drove like the clappers and was quite scary but he explained when we stopped he had another ride booked on the other side of the island. Hotel very welcoming and I met Andy Hughes, the guest speaker on popular music whom I’d met before and who went to the same school as me. His wife gave me a quick guide to the island as they’d arrived a few days earlier – it looked nice, but no time to look around really. No sleep again and after breakfast the three of us got a taxi to the port. And they wouldn’t let us in as we hadn’t got exit stamps in our passports. Back across town more or less to where we started but the Immigration Officer was very efficient and the taxi waited to take us back to the ship. And I boarded some 48 hours after leaving home to find a letter from Cunard advising us we needed an exit stamp! Turned out the rules had changed the day I left home. The production manager says no need to do the equipment check so I retire to the same cabin, sorry stateroom, as usual which is good – should get some sleep tonight…
But no…at 0130 the lights come on and the television starts to broadcast emergency procedures, the lights go off again and then on again. About five minutes later the Captain comes on the PA inside the cabin (which is very unusual) to say we might have noticed an issue, but the explanation is that the ship has lost all power and is drifting but there’s no need to worry. Power was restored safely at about 0530.
I’m due on after Andy next morning – his talk is good but he’s still reading his script which he doesn’t need to do as he really knows his stuff. Anyway the ship’s equipment won’t connect with my MacBook. Panic as the technical staff try everything, and one of the other speakers, Beryl, who’s a plastic surgeon, offers her machine. In the end I start 15 minutes late using a clicker to communicate with the ship’s PC in the control room at the back. So I can’t see anything on the Mac and have to turn to look at the screen to see what’s there. And there’s no sound. And the colour’s wrong – not good for a talk on vision. Anyway, I got through it. Afterwards, several people were complimentary about how I dealt with it which was reassuring. Later that day I got a letter from the Production Manager saying they’d fixed the issue – I suspect the power failure had something to do with it.
Off to the Commodore Club for a sundowner and was greeted with a bear hug from the waiter who always remembers me and what I drink. Really embarrassing but he’s a very nice bloke, as is Daniel, the technical support in Illuminations who I suspect was very embarrassed himself at the technical breakdown that morning.
Andy came to see me to ask if I’d show him how to use Powerpoint Presenter mode which I’d nagged him to use in 2022, so we sat in one of the bars and sorted it out on his PC. It took about 90 minutes but after that he said he was going to give it a go. And he did. And it worked – the subsequent talks were really good with lots of eye contact and ad libs. Mary said I’d given him the confidence, which was kind of her to say, but she was a bit embarrassed by the name of the bottle of rum they gave me as a thank you – Big Black Dick. Famous pirate, apparently. Both Andy and I were getting pretty full houses by the end of the cruise which is always reassuring.
Another speaker, a geologist, was in the next cabin with her partner and we had dinner together, along with Beryl. I didn’t see much of the fifth speaker, a writer and historian. The first celeb speaker was Sir Tony Robinson, aka Baldrick, who talked a lot about being knighted, and the second was the former royal correspondent Jennie Bond, who was very funny.
Five Caribbean islands, but I didn’t do much and didn’t volunteer as a tour escort. It was nice to see Tortola again, and I had lunch at Pussers. For some reason I bought a raincoat and a jacket in their sale.
First stop had been Dominica – I was trying to find a wireless spot to ring TOPS but managed to trip over a step – flat on my face. Embarassing but could have been worse – I looked like I’d been in a fight.
Antigua was a bit of a disaster – QM2 had to park offshore from St John’s instead of in English Harbour which meant tenders. That’s normally OK but there was only one berth for a tender which meant waiting 45 minutes to disembark and then queuing in the sun for over an hour to get back. I got burned and Baldrick upset some guests by jumping the queue.
I had to do a Q&A session which is always a bit of a worry but I had done four talks by then so at least there were some topics for the audience to pick up on. I was slightly thrown by the man who asked me why I live in France.
Six sea days across to Madeira which is a lovely place. I bought a bracelet for TOPS and completed the collection of fridge magnets. I was supposed to make headway on the book during this trip – thirteen sea days – but after one day I gave up – I think the effects of the journey out stayed with me.
That’s probably also why I didn’t see much of the entertainment and went to bed early most nights. Mark Hodgson, of the eponymous trio, joined us for dinner one night and I went to several of the sessions in the Commodore Club. Excellent. I did go to see the Mentalist who put on a pretty good show and name checked me after my talk on conspiracy theories, picking up on fast and slow thinking which was good, er, thinking. I also went to see the FlyRights whom I first saw years ago – very slick, very athletic trio. Standing ovation from the audience. I listened to a Ukrainian string trio several times – the lead violin was especially talented. I suspect if TOPS had been with me, I’d have taken in a lot more of the entertainment.
Quite a few questions outside the talks, including one chap who wanted advice on his golf swing, which was a first. Overall the talks went well, which is why I was there, but I really didn’t make much of the opportunity to get stuff done. As I said, that’s probably because I was on my own. Next trip it’s the Adriatic on Queen Victoria for the first time and for TOPS’ birthday. Look forward to that. Might take in the shows.
thehairypsychologist 