It turns out Cunard are quite happy to fly me to and from Charles de Gaulle in Paris so I happily accepted the offer a year ago (the lady who books QM2 is extraordinarily efficient). Never thought about the Olympics…. When it came to working out the travel arrangements, I had to work around the arrival of the new puppy so it’s got to be an overnight in Ouistreham again, but the hotel price has almost doubled to €126. Great location for the ferry but not a great hotel. However, I wander up to my favourite restaurant and tonight there are a couple entertaining the pavement diners, and he’s terrific – three different barrel organs and lots of enthusiasm.
Uneventful crossing to Portsmouth where I’m picked up by the recently doctored Paul Stickler and Jo. Splendid curry and he takes me to Southampton before he rushes off to Heathrow to catch a flight to somewhere or other – he can’t remember where – to board Queen Elizabeth. As ever these days, I whizz through check-in thanks to the nice ladies on the reception desk, and quickly locate my cabin – the same one I was in for three weeks in January. It’s a proper passenger cabin which is a huge improvement on my previous two trips.
Clear instructions from the Production Manager although it’s disappointing they only want three talks, not the four I was contracted for – I decide to drop the accidents one which is a bit sad because the Captain put me on to it in January but best play safe with the three I’ve done before. Sound/vision check is fine – the technician (Daniel) remembers me which is nice. The other speakers are a maritime historian, a medical ethicist (is that a word?), an author from the USA and a former BBC producer who will be talking about pizza parlours in New York I think. Special guest speaker is the front man from The Byrds. The medical bloke is very friendly.
My first evening in the Commodore Club is a touch embarrassing as several of the staff greet me by name and bring me a Pinot Grigio without my asking. Message from Paul – his flight was cancelled. Oops.
Anyway, the talks go well – large audiences even though it’s lunch time and plenty of feedback, largely from American guests. I get a bit of work done on the book which is good, and the crossing is pretty quiet really. I’m interviewed for the ship’s telly by the Entertainment Dirctor and she’s very complimentary so that’s especially good. I still feel like I’m on probation.
Just two odd moments…one where a couple from (I think) Yorkshire stop me outside Illuminations to ask if I’ve changed the talks because they were on QM2 in January and they’ve heard them once. They appeared a bit irritated when I told them there might be some small changes, and asked why I couldn’t do some new ones. Second odd thing: I was sitting in the Britannia restaurant on my own, as I do (somewhat neurotically avoiding the buffet after an outbreak of norovirus on the last trip), when an American chap on his own sat at the next table. After about 5 minutes, he said “Are you travelling alone, sir?”. When I confirmed I was he said “OK, I’ll join you so we can have a conversation”. I just looked at him for a moment and he said “OK, you don’t want to talk”. When his meal arrived, he played with it for a couple of minutes, then threw his cutlery down, said something I didn’t catch and stormed out. Why, I wonder, didn’t he ask to be seated at a bigger table? Odd indeed.
Off the ship quickly in New York, and I get the shuttle to JFK, which is great except I now have a 12 hour wait for the Heathrow flight, then a tight turn round for CDG. And the final problem – I can’t get a train back home because it’s Sunday and I have to overnight at a CDG hotel. €265! Oh, and it’s €85 for a taxi to Montparnasse. But the train’s on time in spite of the sabotage three days ago. But I do wonder why I do it sometimes. Would have been cheaper to pay the fare…
The answer to that arrived in an email from Cunard thanking me with very positive feedback. They want me to do Curaçao – Southampton in January and another transatlantic later in the year. That’s why I do it…
Postscript
About a week after I got back, I got feedback from a Stage 2 teacher who’d been to my talks. At the end of the conspiracy theory one, I invited the audience to think about whether children should be taught how to think critically. She thought so and went off and designed a professional development day for teachers…that really makes it worthwhile.
thehairypsychologist 